I’ve been watching the NBA Finals the past couple of days. And I’d like to state right now that I hope that the Miami Heat win. In fact, they must win, if only to preserve the liberty and honor our forefathers gave to us over 400 years ago, that is, the liberty they gave to their fellow white devils, but that’s a tale for another time.

Well, why must the Heat win? It definitely isn’t because I like the Heat. I could give a crap about the Heat. They live in Miami with all the hot Latinas, and all the good weather. Plus, they got Disney World. They don’t need a championship. The truth is, the main reason they should win is so Shaq can win a title before Kobe. And why must that be? Because, simply put, I HATE KOBE BRYANT.

If Kobe didn’t have his little tantrum a few years ago, the Lakers might’ve won a couple of more championships. But instead, the rapist decided to act a fool and make Jerry Buss choose between an aging Shaquille O’Neal, and a youthful, still in his prime, Kobe Bryant. Of course, Buss made the dumb move and choose Kobe, killing off most of the players on the roster, and forcing Phil Jackson to break out. And where has that left the Lakers? Down in the dirt.

O’Neal, being the genius that he is (joke), went out and found himself another Kobe Bryant, a more youthful Kobe, one that didn’t rape white girls, and get his fellow teammates fired. And where has that move left Shaq-Doodie? Back in the finals, one win away from winning it all.

And that makes Shaq better than Bryant. And that’s why the Heat have to win it all. There’s too much riding on this. Shaq has to be the first to win a title without Kobe, because if it’s the other way around, we all could have on our hands a massive little problem.

If Kobe were to win first, I could just see his head getting bigger, literally, with him going across the really white parts of this country and raping all the pretty little white girls. There’s Kansas, and Utah, maybe Montana, Idaho, and back to Colorado. All across the great parts of this holy nation where the pretty little Christian white girls reside, I can see Kobe and his big giant head going all Mike Tyson on a white girl, splitting that whitebread, and dumping his filthy foreign-bred evilness into the breadbasket of all that is right and great in this great nation we call America.

I ask you, do you truly want this?

And that’s why, unfortunately, the Dallas Mavericks have to throw the series. They have to find a way to lose to the inferior Heat. Cuban has to learn that the well-being of the nation’s white woman is more important than his pride. He has to learn that it’s okay to lose when losing means winning in the long run.

And winning means Shaq gets to rub it in Kobe’s face.

Recently

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.