Playmate Of The Week
Birthdate: May 25, 1978
Birthplace: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Bust: 34D
Waist: 24
Hips: 36
Height: 5′ 6
Weight:112 lbs
Ambitions:
To live out all of my dreams and goals to the fullest with plenty of success.
Turn-Ons:
Humor is a must! Sensitivity, understanding, compassion, nice hands, athleticism, good kisser.
Turnoffs:
Insensitivity, insecurity, ego trips, bad jokes, narcissism, little-man syndrome.
My Philosophy:
Be strong. Even if you’re not, pretend. No one will know the difference.
Dream Job:
To run my own wildlife center for orphaned and abused exotic animals.
Differences Between L.A. And LA.:
Lots more concrete, no grass, no cows or chickens, too many cars!
My Support:
My wonderful parents, David & Cindy. And my beautiful guy, Shane. I love ya’ll always!
Photographed by Stephen Wayda
Interview:
Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park Creators)
20 Questions:
James Coburn
Features:
“The New Superathlete” by Allen Barra.
“Rules for the Perfect Relationship” by Steven Slon.
“How to Survive a Night in Tijuana” by Robert B. DeSalvo.
“Little Annie Fanny” by Ray Lago and Don Wimmer.
“Surfing the Web for Contraband” Mark Ehrman.
Pictorials:
Carre Otis photographed by Antoine Verglas
Shannon Stewart (PMOM)
Jodi Ann Paterson (PMOY) photographed by Arny Freytag
Extra:
“The Bond Files” featuring Famke Janssen, Teri Hatcher, Jane Seymour, Kim Basinger, Maud Adams, Babara Carrera, Daniela Bianchi, Maryam d’Abo and Ursula Andress.
Okay, let’s start this off by saying that everything I’m about to write has nothing to do with Shannon Stewart. That shouldn’t be that big of a surprise though because I very seldom write about what I’m supposed to write about. And like I said, today is no exception.
So, you might be asking why I picked Shannon Stewart when I have no intention of writing about her. Well that’s an easy answer there, bunky: Because she’s so damn hot. I really didn’t leave 2000 looking forward to the Playmates of 2001, but there were a few exceptions. And Shannon Stewart was one of them. In fact, I dare say she was my personal primary reason for keeping hope in the future of the magazine. I was looking forward to her possibly being named Playmate of the Year. But that didn’t happen. And that is where I’m going.
Who did make PMOY? Well, it was none other than the new Baywatch bouncer, Pamela Lee replacement, Brande Roderick. I can definitely say that she was one of the worst picks for PMOY that has ever been named. When it was revealed that she had made the prime cut, I think there were many disappointed readers across the globe. Sure, you’ll find the occasional Joe that loved her, but I think many of the loyalist abhorred her. And it wasn’t her fault. And unfortunately, I’m one of them.
Hate is only in the name. Do not feel ashamed. Well, maybe Hef should. He started out the decade bombarding the Playboy readership with chicks he supposedly had had sex with. This would lead to two of the first Playmates of the Year being Viagra pals of his, Brande Roderick, and Dalene Kurtis. Both were long-legged bleach blonde clone girlfriends of his at the time of their selection. As well, Brande signified the developing celebrity whoring that has become commonplace in the magazine. Sorry, folks, but we already have a FHM, and a Maxim. We don’t need a Playboy replica of the phenomenon.
But you can’t stop the tide. Although, I think they’ve tried. Either Hef isn’t banging as many Playmates as he used to, or the Playboy publicity machine isn’t glorifying Hugh’s whoring as much as it used to, essentially keeping it under wraps. Which is a good thing because it was beginning to make me sick. There’s only so much you can take when hearing about a 80 year old dude banging 20 year old women. And I know Hef might not be 80, but he sure looks it. So, I think it’s in Hef’s best interest to be 80, or better yet shoot for 90, then people can say he looks and fucks better than any 90-year-old dude they know.
But getting back at the subject at hand, which in Octavius terms is no subject at hand. And as you can tell how that sentence ended, I don’t know where I’m going with this here. Or do I? Shannon’s issue also marked I believe to be the first time when a PMOY didn’t appear on all of her covers. Many people hated when Christina Santiago didn’t even appear on her PMOY issue cover. They instead went with Sarah Kozar, 15-minute famer extraordinare. Playboy went with the quick hit, instead of fortifying tradition. They went with celebrity whoring instead of the tried and true PMOY. I won’t lie. It pissed me off, mostly because Christina was one hot ass natural mamacita. She deserved that cover. And the Playboy loyalist deserved it, too.
And a couple of years earlier, Playboy tested the waters, giving the readers a Carre Otis overlay over the real cover. As if Carre Otis, former crackhead, heroin addict, 31 year old past tense SI supermodel had more love coming to her than Jodi Ann Patterson, another hot ass playmate that never got the respect she deserved. In the short term, it might have led to a spike in readership. In the long term, I have no doubt that it has led to a loss in subscribers, the foundation of any magazine readership. And unfortunately, Playboy as of late, under new leadership, has decided to use the quick hit over the long haul.
Now I’m feeling bad that I didn’t give Shannon Stewart any love in this entry. I think she deserves a word or two on why she will most likely make my top 10 Playmates of the first new millennium decade. Let’s say that I love that whole innocent, sweet down home southern thing Playboy tried to express.
It may be far from who she really is, but we all know image is everything: The ideal Playmate, straight from their mama’s bosom, looking forward to fame in the big city, with hopes of going home to take care the animals of the world. How sweet. I mean Playboy wasn’t really on her mind. She was in the big city modeling. That dream seemed like it was dead. A friend tells her to try Playboy. And the rest is history.
Good job. Good job all around, definitely better than living to be able to pose naked since you were nine, hoping for millions of men to jerk off to your image for all eternity. Definitely better than the creep out moment many present Playmates give off in their interviews. Great job at invoking an image reminiscent of why people started reading Playboy in the first place. If only those new dudes can get back to doing some of the old things that made Playboy worth reading.
Recently
Leave a Reply