Katie sent me a message on MySpace. She wrote that she really wants to be friends with me. She even sent a picture of herself, and she looks quite nice, if only a little too young for my tastes.

To Katie, I really appreciate you giving yourself out like that. It makes me proud that young girls across the world are sending out pretty little messages to nice young gentlemens such as myself.

For awhile I thought I had lost it. I haven’t had a date in four months. And I haven’t gotten laid since the beginning of last summer. In fact, I only recently knocked a good one out after a six month drought. I think I was due one.

So, when I got that little message from Katie, and that sweet little picture of her posing in her white top and little black skirt, I nearly flipped my wig. It was a welcomed sight, and it made a lonely boy happy again.

So, again, thank you Katie. You’ve once again made Uncle Sam proud. And I hope that one day we might meet. Word to Chris Hansen.

I guess I’m still a lazy ass bastard because I still didn’t implement those last few site revisions. I need to stop saying I’m gonna do something and not do something. I bet that shit’s annoying. Anyway, Batista wins the Royal Rumble like everybody and their mama should have known. Him and Cena at the end was logical. They were the only two credible contenders. Vince McMahon fucks his knee up while trying to enter the ring to make a desicion that can only be made in pro wrestling on a regular basis, whose foot touched the ground first. Now we got Raw teasing a Smackdown switch for Batista, even though we know it won’t happen. It’s in the stars. Batista is facing Triple H. Some other matches to look forward to are Shawn Micheals versus Kurt Angle, Guerrero versus Booker T, Heidenreich and Snisky vs Kane and the Undertaker, and possibly Cena versus JBL for the WWE Title. At least that’s what I’m predicting at the present moment. Of course this can all change in the next few weeks.

Now on to other matters. I thought about putting more newsworthy shit on my site. People said that last year, or maybe this year, was the year of the blog, that somehow in some bizzaro, hell-infused parallel universe, blogs had become a valid destination for trustworthy news. And if I decided to actually start putting real important news shit on my site, I’d have to start being trustworthy and honest. And by starting to be trustworthy and honest, my site would gain in the newfound legitimacy that other weblogs have gained. Super-villain Style would thus become legitimate, something valid and good. And I’d gain a newfound level of respect in the blogosphere, in the journalism world, and ultimately, throughout the whole planet.

And then I said, FUCK THAT SHIT!

Being honest is too fuckin’ hard. And I’d have to stop lying. And stealing other people’s content. And I’d have to start using proper grammar, and spelling right, and using that right sentence structure and punctuation crap. And I’d eventually have to stop using foul language. And that shit made it definite. Fuck legitimate. I haven’t been legitimate since I was born. I strive for illegitimacy. Illegitimacy rules. All you other whores can suck that broadcast dick. This man is his own man. I strive for pure bullshit. I stand strong to my nature. I’m a mothafuckin’ bastard. Born a bastard. Die a bastard. And I live to lie, cheat and steal like a bastard.

For Example:

ALICIA KEYS TO MARRY 50 CENT

When will this marriage take place? Who cares. I don’t know. But I predict some time down the line that Alicia Keys will marry 50 Cent. Why? Just like Whitney and Bobby, Alicia will find the lesbian rumors plaguing her career for years to come. To shut up the rumor mill, Keys will go all out and marry the thug/rapper/actor, 50 Cent. The world will be stunned and wonder if the girl is crazy.

Afterwards, Keys will develop a drug problem, if she hasn’t already. Did you see her in that Karma video. She looks kind of drugged out already in that shit. Anyway, she and 50 will have a fat daughter together and name her Celicia, for no apparent reason other than I couldn’t think of a really dumb name at the time of typing this up. In a twist, 50′s career will skyrocket and Alicia will become the has been crackhead, losing a lot of weight and doing shows as Skeletor.

And she will also begin beating 50 on a regular basis, eventually being locked up several times for spousal abuse. This will cause 50 to try to commit suicide seeing that he will have lost all credibility in the record business and on the streets due to him getting his ass kicked on the regular by his skinny former pop star wife.

After that, Alicia will serve a year in prison for running over a group of kids at a mall she had just performed in. She will get in her car after the concert, do some heroin and plow through those little bastards like, like, something a person plows right on through. They will visit Africa after she gets out prison and proclaim themselves new Africans and eat monkey meat. And then they will have another kid and name him Tyrone, because I still couldn’t think of a really funny name there either. They stay together until they’re in their 50s, and then they divorce.

Now if anyone wants to link to that news item, they can. I have no problem with anybody linking to it or stealing it outright and claiming they wrote it. In fact, I hope some of you do just that. So, when Alicia and 50 find out about this shit, they’ll sue you instead of me. Because I’ll just be clever and delete this post and act like I don’t know what anybody’s talking about. I’ll just act dumb. (Like that would be really hard for you. Har-Har.)

Like a snail. Things have been quiet on the scene. Absolutely nothing’s happening. Or at least nothing overground. This summer has been tired. I’m actually looking forward to fall. And winter. Remember Christmas is only 5 months away.