I took my ass across the border to get some of them Powerball tickets. And here it is I find out that some bastard in Oregon won the whole shit by himself. I bet that dude is rich and white and ain’t broke like me. He or she gotta be. It’s Oregon. How many brothers do you know live up in Oregon. Not many.

Which makes me wonder: will God ever let a brother win the big money lottery, EVER? Come on, Jesus. Give a brother a hit at least once. Just once, J-Dawg.

Man, wouldn’t that be some shit?. A brother from the hood with a winning lottory ticket, half of his grill missing, with his ebonic ass beyotch on his side, and his fucked up relatives screaming and acting a fool in the background. And if there’s any justice in the world, the black bastard will be me.

If I were to see some shit like that, I would finally know that there was some sort of justice in the world. If I were to see that shit, I might actually start believing in God again, and going to church. I’m sure a lot of other fucked up athiest bastards might actually convert as well. Shit, can you really pass up a chance at some heavy mass conversions among the wicked? Can you, Jesus? Therefore, it seems the only course of action is to hook a brother up.

Either let a brother win, or let a man continue to wallow in self-pity. How can I be cool with the world when I know that I’ll never come out on top, no matter what I do. Shit. I do like the big-timers. I invest my dough in them stocks and bonds. I’m hooked in a mutual fund. And I throw cash on the crap tables. The big money makers know that it takes dough to make dough. I put out in accordance to that philosophy. But I figure if a dude like Michael Jordan can’t win it big in this gambling shit, how the fuck can I expect to come out on top. I mean, he’s MJ, the greatest fuckin’ negro ever to run across a wooden floor. How can I expect good shit if the big man upstairs won’t even let a negro like MJ get rich off of the “investing.”

By the way, how much money has Jordan lost on gambling, a couple of million? And he ain’t got a problem? Then shit, I ain’t got a problem either. I like to play hard and win big too. That’s why I’m always throwing dough on the Mega Millions and the Powerballs. Maybe one of these days I’ll hit it big with that shit and add to my portfolio of black jack and roulette. Maybe add to my river boat assets. Shit. I ain’t got a problem. I’m just doing that bullshit that made Donald Trump rich and bankrupt.