Burn
Did you know that WWE has been paying Marvel Comics doe for using the Hulk in Hulk Hogan. I didn’t. And they’ve been doing it for over 2 decades. Apparently Marvel feels that the right to use the name is over. So, WWE is suing. Marvel is also suing Disney over those old/new cartoons that used to air on Fox and ran on Fox family, which is now ABC Family. Disney says they never made any doe off of those cartoons even though they still continue to air them. It’s funny how someone can be so right on one thing and so wrong on another. I mean, Marvel didn’t create the word Hulk. And I don’t think Stan Lee came up with using Hulk as slang for a big dude. So, what’s the deal here. And yet, me thinks Mickey is one greedy mothafucka. You can’t win’em all.
`Identity Crisis’ proves more than costume-deep
Comics Reviewlution
Now onto the big booty shit. Of course, the big shit going around is all about this Identity Crisis shit. I ain’t a fan of DC and I very seldom pick up one of their books, but people keep talking. So, I was curious. And I read the first issue, and I thought it was good. Essentially, Plastic Man is on patrol with this Firebird, Firebrand, Firehawk chick, I don’t know. And he’s watching some hoodlums up to no good. Anyway, his woman, Sue Digby is setting up a suprise for his birthday, several months in advance, I might add. And ol’ Ralphy (Plastic Man) is feeling sentimental. All of a sudden he gets a call, and it’s Sue. And she needs help. He bolts back to his place and finds her ass all char-broiled and breaks the fuck down. A funeral, and some weird shit afterwards, and we find that some of his fellow JLA’ers have a little secret. All the other JLA’ers are sent on a wild goose chase. And Ralphy boy declares that they have to find Dr. Light. And he’s pissed off when he says it. So, we all assume that Dr. Light must of did the dirty deed.
Now at this point, I think most people don’t have a problem with the story. Some do. I mean, girlfriends of super-heroes always get fucked up. Just check this page out. But I see it as good drama. Death don’t mean shit unless it’s personal. The problems with the story hit in the second book. Essentially, we find out that Sue was dead before the fire. And the strange JLA’ers think Dr. Light killed her, even though we know by the end of the second issue he ain’t the one. Seems that long ago, this Light dude broke into JLA central and back-booty hit Sue, Kobe-style when the crew was off fighting some dude. They get back and shit hits the fan. The JLA’ers couldn’t let that shit go unpunished, so they beat the fuck outta Light and then get Zatanna to mind wipe his beyotch ass, so he don’t go rapin’ no more. They hoped the mind wipe might stop him from doing crimes altogether. It only makes him a lame mothafucka.
Now, seeing as I don’t read that many DC Comics, I have no fuckin’ idea who Dr. Light is. But by the end of issue 2, everybody either hates him, or hates Meltzer, the dude who’s writing this shit. I mean, the heroes do some real unheroic shit. It’s one thing to lock a prisoner up, it’s another to kill him, and it’s a whole other piece of shit to fuck with a dudes mind, even a filthy rapist, as some form of corporal punishment. And a lot of people don’t like their heroes doing shady shit like that.
Now, me. I love it. I love it that they’re taking real world situations and putting them in comic book form. I know everyone who has ever read a comic has wondered why there aren’t child molesters, rapists, petty vicious murderers in comic books? What if Lex Luthor got himself a little R.Kelly love on the side? What if Joker not only did serial killings, but he also was a cannibal who liked eating his victim’s hearts and having sex with their dead bodies afterwards. Well, with that last example, I guess I know. Comic books wouldn’t be all that fun to read.
But still. How should super-heroes react under real world situations. People have always wondered why a guy like Batman hasn’t just snapped the Joker’s neck already, like Miller had him do in Dark Knight Returns. Shit, maybe some villains need to get fucked up. And at least Dr. Light was able to live after what he did. If you had the power of the JLA, would you have just fucked with his mind. Shit, I would have killed the bastard, fried his shit, eyebeamed his nuts raw. The dude would have been left unrecognizable. But like I said, if heroes stooped to those levels I don’t think comics would have been as much fun to read when I was growing up. Drama is about upping the ante, without turning off the audience at the same time. People come to view and accept certain things from certain characters, certain genres, certain writers, aimed at certain audiences. Unfortuantely, writers want to explore various ideas, topics, situations. And they sometimes forget who they work for.
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