Caged Heat
Damn. This shit has been hectic the past week. First Baretta, then my man, Scott Peterson, and now Lil Kim. And did I forget Martha. Did she get out this week or last? I’m fucked up with time. Just like I’ve been fucked up on this prison shit.
My man Scott gets death, but Baretta gets OFF? Bullshit. I figured they had more on Baretta than they did on my homeboy, Scott. Shit, Baretta was actually at the scene of the crime. And I think they had a fuckin murder weapon. And I think one time he admitted that he had killed the beyotch. But I could be mistaken. All I really know is that they didn’t have shit on Scott. But I guess it’s all a popularity contest.
The simple fact is that people love that ole’ crusty bastard, Baretta, and people hate Scott Peterson. Shit, his own fuckin’ adopted sister went Allred and sold his ass out for a book deal and money. The slimy beyotch. And that Bonnie chick just ain’t as cute as Lacey. Bonnie looked kind of worn out. I guess people expected that beyotch to be killed by someone eventually. It was just her time. Plus, like I said, people really hate my homey, Scott. They definitely didn’t have shit on him, except for the fact that he acted like a complete asshole after Lacey went missing. And you know what they say, if you don’t feel bad when your girl goes missing, you must’ve had something to do with her disappearance. Which is complete bullshit.
Several of my chicks have gone missing in the past. And I just celebrated and laughed. Doesn’t mean I killed them and buried their bodies out in the forest preserves, then moved their shit after I thought the heat was off and dumped their bodies in the lake. It doesn’t mean I killed each of them with rat poison by putting the shit in their hot chocolates and watching anxiously as they drank down my funky potion. Just because after they went missing, I hit the strip clubs and hooked up with my ole’ working girls. It don’t mean I did anything foul, now does it?
And Kim. Fuckers from her own crew, pissed off that she rich and they broke, sold her ass out, testifying against her. And then they have the nerve to shake their fuckin’ pigeon heads in shame and disbelief. Fuckin’ traitors. Only good shit to come out of this shit is that Kim might actually fulfill her lesbian fantasies, showering with chicks, walking around the prison all wet and naked, doing weird freaky shit with the other inmates.
I remember this film, I think it might be Caged Heat. It could be something else entirely. I can only recall this shit by three scenes: one scene is where some dude is sniffin’ coke off this beyotch’s titty and shit. Another one has this real hot black chick getting out the shower, and she’s wet, and she don’t give a fuck that she’s naked. So, she has this towel, petting her naughty parts dry and shit. And then she lays on the bed, and I think a serial killer like Jason pops up and starts killing her ass, so to speak. The third scene has the warden, dressed all sadistic and shit, with a whip in her fuckin’ hand. And she’s like fuckin’ the shit out of the female inmates, doing weird lesbian shit with them.
Come to think of it, from that description, that isn’t Caged Heat. I know I’ve seen Caged Heat. But I just don’t think what I just described is that film. Must be some other freaky prison flick. Anyway, I think Lil Kim better study that shit, whatever it is, just so she won’t get shanked or nothing. I wouldn’t want Lil Kim to get shanked. That would be awful.
Maybe she won’t have to serve that much time. Or maybe she’ll get off easy and do time in some country estate type shit like Miss Martha had to serve in. Then, she’d at least be able to do her regular country side walks, possibly get her a white chick, and finally find peace in her fuckin life. You know, like Martha. Not that I know that for a fact. I’m not looking to get sued or anything. But don’t tell me with them beyotches calling her Miss Martha, that she didn’t turn out somebody. Probably had beyotches tossing her salad for some, well, um, contra band fresh vegetables so she could make tossed salad.
Anyway. All I got to say is that I’m completely and utterly disappointed with our judicial system. It sickens me that popularity rules over actual evidence. Which means I’ll actually have to change up my shit on this weblog. I can’t be coming off like the asshole I am. I need to come across as more likeable. Which is why I’ve decided to finally express my feelings of love and respect to all my readers, the two of you. I love you. And I care for you all very deeply. In my eyes, all of you are beautiful.
Now I have to go and vomit.
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