Discriminate On That Ass
What’s worser than a black man moving in your neighborhood? A poor black man moving in your neighborhood.
You white devils that come across my site need to write that one down. You’re definitely gonna need that one at that next whitey get together you have.
They say it’s everyman’s American dream to own a home. I heard that living in a home you owned was the worst investment a man could make. Recently I was turned down for a house. Apparently, I’m too broke and in debt to be able to own one right now, if ever. It was really a townhouse, two apartments, a large basement, big backyard. I was trying to do one of those new fangled adult things, move my girl in with me, along with my mother and grandmother, who would both live on the first floor. I felt like a piece of shit when I was denied. I know my girl was disappointed.
My big shot cousin owns several homes, plus a couple of apartment buildings. He rotates that shit, selling them off on the regular. He keeps one or two of them to manage himself. He once told me that he had an unspoken rule never to let anyone under 30 in one of his places. He said that young people fuck shit up, that they never leave the apartment how they got it. Although I doubt if anyone of any age leaves a place exactly how they got it, I must admit, if I owned a place, a probably wouldn’t let anyone my age or younger in either. Because I know me and I know my friends, and indeed, we do fuck shit up. With that knowledge, if I owned my own apartment building, I probably would discriminate against mostly everybody, no matter whatever the age, sex or creed, whatever the fuck that is.
I definitely couldn’t let any women in. Women have a tendency to have kids. They also tend to have shitty ass boyfriends who’re just like me and treat places like shit. You never know what you’re gonna get when you let a woman in. I was about to write a box of a woman, ...when you open up a box of a woman, but I figured that wouldn’t make any sense to most of you. Box, vagina, get it. Fuck it.
Anyway, a woman could be the perfect tenant in the beginnning, even with kids. But then shit eventually gets fucked up. The kids grow up and become gangbangers, or they bring their fucked up friends over, running up and down the stairs, hanging out in front of your shit, keeping up a lot of noise and shit. Or she starts dating some shady ass dude, or her crackhead mother or brother moves in. And the next thing you know, your shit is falling apart.
See. Women are nurturers. That’s why they’re the center of the American family, the center of American life in general. And because of this, women tend to attract to themselves filthy ass family members and fucked up friends. It’s just a part of who they are. They wanna take care of the people they love. And they don’t like to see them suffer.
Take my mother. She hasn’t had to deal with my ass for over the past couple of years. But when she hits 60, and I’m in my 40s and I’m fucked up because I’ve lost my job, or because I still have a shitty ass job, and my woman done kicked me out for the last time, and I’ve finally hit rock bottom, I know I’ll eventually end up living in that small ass backroom in whatever place she’s staying at during that time. That shit’s predestined. And there ain’t shit neither one of us can do about it. Except, maybe she can refuse to tell me where she’s living at the time. In fact, I think that may be for the best, at least for her.
The point I’m getting at is that no matter how cool, or how clean, or how peaceful the woman is, in the end, her shitty ass relatives and associates will completely fuck you over. And that’s why you need to discriminate against every single woman of any age, race or creed. Yeah, even the freaky lesbian chick. Trust me. Dyke beyotches’ll fuck up a place in a minute. They’re just like fucked up boyfriends when it comes to keeping that pussy.
Now I’m not just against the women. I believe in discriminating against others, too. Take men. Never let a group of more than two dudes move in together, even if the majority of them are gay. And stay away from single old guys, especially the ones between 40 and 60 who don’t appear to have a girlfriend. If a dude is past 40 and he’s still single, and he’s never been married, too. I’m telling you, most likely he likes to rape the babies. Now he could be gay also, and that might be a good thing. But the chances of getting a gay dude versus the chances of getting a baby rapist are just too damn close that I just wouldn’t chance that shit.
I’d also have to discriminate against the Mexicans. I respect Mexicans. I love the fact that when one of them gets a place to lay his head, everybody gets a place to lay his head. If only we had more of that shit in the black community, people and family members helping each other out. But, come on. You rent your place to a nice sweet Mexican family with a cute little boy named Juan. And the next thing you know you got Mexicans hanging all over your place, coming outta the woodwork like roaches. Now as a building owner, we can’t be having that shit. The mothafuckin’ Mexicans have got to go.
So the Mexicans aren’t left lonely, I’d also have to say goodbye to any Middle Easterners. This includes, Arabs, Muslims of any race, and India people. If they got one of those Arab type names like Ali or Muhammed or Elijah, they ass don’t get in. We don’t need any suspected terrorists living in our place.
So, with that stated, you might be asking yourself who would I let in. Well, I’d let old couples in. Not single old people, but old married people, thirty to forty plus year old married couples. Old single people tend to stink up the house and leave shit around and grow fungus and roaches in their places. That’s just a part of getting old, you can’t really take care of yourself anymore. But old people together work out just fine. I guess it’s because they’re not alone, they tend to upkeep shit better, and go outside, and go to the doctor, you know, generally take care of themselves and their shit better. Plus, they aren’t as crabby and mean. Everybody has a memory of some old chick throwing hot water down from her window because as a kid you were making too much noise.
So, there you have it, unless you’re old and married, you won’t be getting into my place. Of course, with the present divorce rates in America, there probably won’t be many of them as it is. So, I guess I won’t be having that many tenants. And eventually I’ll be forced to let in all the asshole who will completely tear my shit up. Unless, of course, I fill them up with people who are stereotypically seen as peaceful and docile-like, like the Asians. Yeah, old Asian couples. Can you say Chinatown?
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