Ebert Ain’t Dead, Yet
I heard that Roger Ebert had to be rushed to the hospital over the weekend because a blood vessel in his salisbury steak gland ruptured. I think it had too much gravy in it. Hmmmm, mushrooms.
Wait. Breaking news. It was actually his salivary gland, whatever the hell that is. I think it has something to do with spitting. I’m pretty sure his wife won’t be getting her prospects checked out anytime soon. You know what I’m talking about. I know you do. Sickos.
Whenever you hear someone say it, salivary, you don’t know what they’re talking about. From hearing it, I’m thinking it’s some gland in his leg or in his belly. But when I actually saw the word, I knew it had something to do with his mouth.
Fun Fact: Did you know that Roger Ebert was married to a big black woman? I knew part of it, the part where he was married to a black chick. What I didn’t know was that she was bigger than him. It looks like Ebert likes a little jelly in his roll. Know what I’m saying? The more the jelly, the better the thumbing, or the pudding. Wait. That’s Bill Cosby. That doesn’t come from me. That comes from his late partner, Siskel, who was actually a heterosexual.
Yeah, that’s surprising to me also.
Here’s hoping you get well soon, you plump brother. And to help you along, I put up two videos from the good ole times when your homie Siskel was still alive.
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