Fuck A Compaq
Do they even make these shits anymore? I swear. I can’t stand it.
I had some cool shit typed out. I mean, I was on a fuckin’ roll. And all of a sudden, my fuckin’ computer reboots on me. I’m like two-thirds of the way done, and I’m real ignorant with this shit. And my fuckin’ computer dies on me. I lose everything, because I’m a dumb ass and I haven’t thought to hit the save button just once. Oh, and I’m dying. Because now I gotta recreate that shit from memory. And it just won’t feel the same. And I’m pissed off, and shit ain’t cool. But, what the fuck else can I do.
So, I started that shit off talking about how cold it was. I was like, man it was cold. FUCK! It just ain’t the same. FUCK! Man was it cold. How cold was it, you asshole? FUCK! BULLSHIT! Man was it cold. I mean, it was so cold that I actually thought about going to work early. I got up at 5 and put my fuckin clothes on when I normally don’t even half wake up until an hour later. And I’m laying in my bed with my shoes and sweater on and a fuckin’ cover over me, and I’m cold as fuck, and I actually do the unthinkable: I decide to get up and go to work earlier than I’m supposed to. Do you get this shit? Work? Early? That’s some miracle worker type shit. I think those rapture type bastards might be on to something. Who knows? The fuckin’ 1000 years could really be up and tomorrow the second coming could be, you know, coming. I can feel Baby Jesus already. I think my Jewish friends better find a fuckin’ rock to hide under before, you know, the Earth swallows them whole and shit. If not for my revelation, then for that whole Prince Harry, Prince Michael, Albert, blanket in a can, whatever, fuck it, you know what the fuck I’m talking about, Nazi, whole fuckin’ world, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Then I smoothly switched over to what I was watching last night, that whole Ken Burns - PBS, Jack Johnson shit. And I started talking about how he loved him some white women. He had one at home and two or three on the road with him. What really got me was all that racism shit, especially when they quoted the LA Times. It would be some shit like this:
The coon wants to fight, and for what if he wins, first his great Negro cock, and his grand nigger-monkey prowess. If he should beat our great fair brother, it could be but over, and soon he will not only be intercoursing with the great pink vagina, but the nigger might also think himself equal to the great European, but still. — The Los Angeles Times
And I don’t know, but for some reason, I would crack the fuck up laughing. These honkys were killing me. But I guess it was because the dumb shit was coming from the LA Times and the NY Times, two pretty liberal newspapers today. Shows you how times have changed.
Now that last part was longer when I first did it, with a lot of dumb racial shit. But I don’t have time to recreate that shit because part two of the Jack Johnson story is about to come on soon, and I can foretell some nigga lynching, not as if there wasn’t a lot of that shit in the first part. But part one was the upside, part two is the downside. So, that shit’s gotta be good, like a really sad VH1 Where Are They Now? Next time I’ll learn and save my masterpieces.
Oh yeah, I forgot, I also talked about this, FUCK! Forget it. It wouldn’t work. None of this shit works. Oh, I hate you, you fuckin’ Compaq. I’ll talk about the whole Branch Davidian shit later. You know, when it makes more sense. It’s all fucked up.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Just forget it.
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