It Rhymes With Tuck N Nip
I’ve been sitting around contemplating about that whole Gary Sheffield-wife thing, how some preacher dude had a tape with Sheffield’s wife on it having sex with pissmaster R. Kelly. He was blackmailing Sheffield, telling Sheffield if he didn’t pay him 20,000 dollars, he would release the tape to the public. Sheffield refused and reported his ass to the authorities, and they did a sting on the preacher.
Sheffield, after knowledge of the tape was released, told the news people that he still plans on sticking with his wife, even with the prospects of this tape possibly reaching the public. Who knows what freaky shit Kelly might be doing to Sheffield’s wife on the tape. We know Kelly likes to piss and shit on women. One can only imagine what bodily fluids Kelly sprayed on Sheffield’s wife when the tape was made.
I wonder if I’d be able to stick it out with my woman if I suddenly found out she had done some freaky shit with a brother like R. Kelly? There’s a part of me that thinks that I would have to leave her, walk away from it all. Then, there’s another part of me that hopes that I would be able to stick it out. But I doubt it. I’m a dumbass.
You know that shit in that film, Clerks, where ol boy finds out that his girl was a major league dick sucker for most of her bleeding life, and that she may have sucked every male dick in high school and college, including the dick of one of the filthiest brothers around who liked when chicks spit his shit back in his mouth after he came in theirs. I got a friend like that, a really filthy ass bastard that always has ol’ fucked up chicks around him.
He loves telling us about the beyotches that like to open his legs and go crazy on his balls. He’s one of these dudes who always got a story of a nasty ass chick who loves to do nothing but eat his ass out. Most of that shit is bullshit. But every once in awhile he always has a girl around who you know does filthy shit like that, like that Chasing Amy chick, a chick you know from reputable sources has done threesomes and weird anal-facial shit. When he has a chick like that following him around it sort of negates the bullshit sex stories he likes to tell because you know he’s doing half that freaky shit with her.
Every once in awhile he’ll have him a halfway decent looking girl by his side, a girl you wonder about, like if she has mental problems or something, a chick who seems halfway decent that she must be fucked up under the hood to be fuckin’ with a filthy bastard like my man. I always wonder about these chicks, about how they’ll have to live down letting this nasty pig bastard get over on’em, how they’ll have to keep this one fucked up relationship under wraps for the the rest of their fuckin’ lives.
I wonder what would happen in ten years if I met one of these chicks, cleaned up and all, with her husband. And I pulled out a picture of my old friend and told her man about all the crazy ass shit she used to do with my homie, pointing to a picture of my filthy, nasty, dirty ass homie, with shit on his shirt, digging in his nose, laughing out loud with food in his mouth. I wonder if my man would stay. I doubt it. No man wants the vision of his woman fuckin another man, let alone some ass wipe dude six degrees from living under a highway pass.
I think most chicks have shit like that in the past. I have a cousin, no fuckin’ job, has babies every fuckin’ where, lives with his mama, lives off his chicks, and he keeps getting these church chicks to give it up to him. It’s weird shit, because these chicks seem like upstanding women, who have jobs, and go to school, and they usually have no children, at least until he comes into their lives. He eventually knocks’em up and breaks the hell out, and finds another chick to replace her. And I swear I don’t get what the fuck is going on. Because we ain’t talking about Taye Diggs here. We’re talking about a boney ass, Ethopian looking brother. But I guess that’s what they call game.
Unfortunately, these chicks are fucked for life like that Scarlett Letter chick. Even if no one can see the big ass A on the chest, all her old friends know it exists. These chicks are marred for life, and it ain’t a goddamn thing they can do about it. They just gotta suck that shit up, like they did that dick so many years ago.
(Yeah. I know. That’s bad.)
(And if my boy ever reads this shit, just remember I ain’t talking about you. I’m talking about somebody else. You know who I’m talking about. But it’s not you.)
Chicago man accused of using decade-old video for extortion.
Never Had Tape
Mosley knew about two different tapes in which DeLeon can be seen having sex with Kelly, who dated the gospel star when she was a teen, said the pal who wouldn’t give his name.One was the old tape known as “R. Kelly Triple X.” The second was part of a “master tape” featuring numerous encounters, one showing “DeLeon, Kelly and Kelly’s wife” having sex, the pal said.
Other sources said several friends of Kelly’s had seen the three-way scene but they declined to say whether the third woman was Kelly’s wife, Andrea Lee, or his late ex, singing star Aaliyah.
Tomorrow: Special Guest Post By Crackhead Rollie on What Thanksgiving Really Means.
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