Kerry-Edwards / Suck-It
I missed out on Reagan. And Clinton. And the whole naked Iraqi prisoners thing. I’m kind of glad I did. I really hate talking politics. It’s almost as bad as discussing religion. Which makes me want to pass on this whole Kerry-Edwards thing. I can feel myself getting sleepy already. I mean it is big news. At least I’m told that it’s supposed to be big news. But is it really?
Whose mind will be swayed to vote Kerry by the announcement of Edwards. Are there really that many people out there who decide their presidential vote on the picking of a running mate? And is the running mate decision that important in a year like this? Like everybody and their mama have said, or is it has said, already, fuck it. Anyway the point is that most people have already made up their mind on who they will vote for in November.
And that doesn’t trouble me. What troubles me is that there are actually undecided voters out there, people who haven’t made up their mind. Who the hell are these people? What the fuck are they waiting for? I don’t care if they choose Bush or Kerry. Choose somebody already. There ain’t much more you need to know, or you’ll ever learn from the presidential candidates, or their handlers.
What? You want to hear their platform when their conventions come around. You want to see if there will be an October suprise. Maybe they have something insightful and detailed to say about the war in Iraq, or health care, or job security, or some other important bullshit like that. Please.
The choice is clear, whichever way you choose. You may not know it, but I have a pretty good guess that you’ve already decided, and you just don’t know it, yet.
Now. Let’s get back to important issues, like Denise Richards getting butt naked in Playboy. I’m actually looking forward to it. Although she has shown quite a bit on film. Remember Wild Things. Bubbly never looked so good running down a pair of hooters. A semi-celebrity in Playboy. Playboy used to get’em on their way up, or barely on their way down. Now they get’em while they lay in the gutter. But I can’t lie. Gutter nudes are better than no nudes at all.
Take today. Playboy’s web site, the paid version, is featuring the Women of Home Depot. Home Depot, I say. Don’t just reading that make you all sweaty and horny. I mean them beyotches at the HOME DEPOT sure am hot. You go in looking for plywood, you come out rubbing the plywood. (Don’t go there.) Cause they sure got some hot ass mamacitas at the HOME DEPOT.
And the weird thing is these chicks ain’t half bad, especially since they’re naked. Naked make plain chicks look hot as hell. In fact, maybe if Kerry and Bush were half-bad chicks, and did a naked runway pose down instead of debating, I might have a hard time choosing one over the other. Unless one of them had really small titties. Then, the choice would be amazingly clear.
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