Phat Television
Damn, Saved By the Bell is becoming the new Diff’rent Strokes. First, I find out that the chick that played Lisa might have been a crack head. Then, I find out that the dude that played Slater might have beat down Ali Landry on some Ike Turner crap. Now, I find out that Screech is out begging for loose change and selling crappy t-shirts here so he can continue feeding himself and keep his home.
And who knows what’s going on with Mr. Belding. I can see child porn charges in his future.
The only good to come out of that show, outside the mindless jackin’ off I did when it was on, is that that chick who plays the fat dude’s wife on Queen of Kings, or the other way around, whatever, has lost most of her baby fat, and by baby fat, I mean the fat she put on when she had them babies, at least I think it was babies, because she was fat a long time.
It looked like she was preg-a-nant for about the last three years. Every time I turned to look at the show, she was fat. So, I’m hoping she was pregnant two different times, because if she was fat for two to three years, then she shouldn’t even be on my television anymore.
Only fat people who should get and stay on television are those who were fat when I first saw them. Like Oprah. She’s been fat since a I first saw her, so it’s okay she stay fat. I’m trying to think of other fat examples, but nothing else is coming to mind. I don’t think there are that many fat people on the small screen, and that’s a good thing. Because if you’re skinny when I first see you, you can’t get fat and stay on the television. And if you were fat when I first saw you, then you have to stay fat, unless you look better skinny.
Take that Sara Rue chick. She was kind of hot fat, and then she decided to lose the weight. Now I don’t know if I like her very much. She looks okay, but she doesn’t have all that juicy whiteness to her that she had before. Now she looks just like every other white chick, except more elderly, and that’s bad.
Because you have to stand out if you wanna be on television. You have to have a niche. Dave Chappelle looks like a weeded out crackhead; Andy Dick looks like a super gay child pornographer; and Sara Rue looked like a really juicy looking white girl. That was her gimmick. Now, she’s gone and ruined it. And that’s why she doesn’t have a television show anymore, and probably never will again. Dumb ass.
Recently
June 20th, 2006 at 11:55 pm
what about detective sipowitz? hes cool and fat.
June 21st, 2006 at 10:14 am
Sipowitz would be okay because he’s been fat since those old Hill Street Blues days. Sure, he wasn’t as fat as he is now, but he still was kind of chunky. So, if he got another cop show or something, I would still watch it.
But if he went Billy Bob and dropped the weight, I might have to ban him from my television. Fat dudes who lose weight end up looking like they caught the AIDS, and that’s bad.
Unfortunately, fat people have to stay relatively fat to look healthy, even though they’re really slowly dying on the inside.