State Of The Union
DEAN LOST! DEAN LOST! WOO HOO!
And a lot of little children’s hopes and dreams have been lost.
Now if someone will only take care of the prez-o-dent.
Now that shit’ll get me put in prison without representation. Fuck it. Let me take that back. I love the prez-o-dent. He makes me feel all warm and shiny inside. I feel safer and more peaceful with him around. I know with him in office I will not have to worry about all my bastard children dying by the hands of the evil ARABS and their insidious Islamic traditions and beliefs.
Thank Jesus for the State Of The Union.
I can smell it. One long boring-ass night. The prez-o-dent speaks and the audience claps and nothing is really said. That’s the only thing cable is good for: dodging the state of the union. Maybe I’ll be able to catch some nudity.
So, this shit will be sweet tonight. I’ll type this up and go to sleep. Because the rest of the night is the state of the union. This is break night. This is do-something-that-you’ve-been-putting-off-because-you-never-have-enough-time night. There’s nothing new tonight. No new news. Catch the recap tomorrow. Trust me, they’ll play all the good parts tomorrow.
Go to sleep. And if you’re not American, go to sleep. Because when America speaks, we all get sleepy.
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