Trade Redundancy Part II: Smackdown
My first pick from Smackdown would be for Dawn Marie. Raw needs new females for their Women’s division. Dawn Marie has shown a basic understanding of in ring wrestling. She’s also pretty respectable when it comes to cutting a promo. Plus, she’s always been willing to show a little T&A, which I presume is a prerequisite to wrestling in the WWE. The division needs an extra player to do the job when needed, and to take the place for Lita when she eventually breaks another part of her body. If you add another rookie female, like one of those no-name divas, you’ll have a halfway crappy Women’s Division. And I’m sure Torri can find another nemesis to beat in bikini and lingerie contests over on Smackdown, like that Joy chick, who looks pretty killer, and seems to be able to pronounce words, and other shit like that.
My next pick would be the Basham brother that’s angry because he’s JBL’s lap dog. I don’t know either of the Bashams names. And I can’t really tell them apart, and it’s not because they look alike. It’s because they both have shown no personality until recently. The dudes are pretty interchangable. And that’s bad because I heard they were two pretty decent wretlers. It’s also why they need to be split up. Give one of them a solo shot on Raw, and make the other tag with another no-name wrestler on Smackdown.
The third pick would be for a person a lot of you seem to love, RVD. I find the dude boring and predictable. I just don’t see him fulfilling those main event dreams that a lot of his fans have. And Smackdown already has a man like him on the roster, somebody most people like, but who’s past his prime. And that’s Booker T. Smackdown doesn’t need another Booker T, who’s seems to have found his spot on the Smackdown roster. That’s why RVD should go back to Raw and perform in the upper mid-card and Intercontinental division until his contract runs out.
My fourth pick would be the first of my two picks to help solidify Batista’s championship run. Big Show.may not seem like much, but when given the spotlight, the man tends to shine. He has decent wrestling skills, and he can cut a promo. He was one of the men who helped Brock Lesnar go from a one dimensional monster, to the real next big thing. Like Lesnar, Batista needs an opponent people believe can actually beat him. Like Hogan needed his giant, Batista needs the Big Show. Sure, you won’t get great matches out of these two. But you will get several memorable moments. I still can’t forget Lesnar suplexing Big Show off the ropes with the ring collapsing when both men hit the mat. When you have minimal skills like Batista, you need to up the ante on the spectacle. We need to see Batista powerbombing and picking up 500 pounds, or whatever, of fat ass Big Show for him to get over.
My last Smackdown pick would be for another big man, the one who’s a year or two from calling it quits. And that man’s name is the Undertaker. Listen. Let’s just say that the Undertaker is on some farewell tour right now. He’s only been wrestling every once in a while for the past year. He knows it’s the end. That’s why I assume he went back to the old gimmick, to give the people what they want on his way out. And his shit ain’t even about the wrestling anymore. It’s all about the spectacle. Might as well say he’s doing some Hulk Hogan-lite shit right about now. He does his entrance. He does his eye rolling shit in the ring. He tombstones somebody. And he goes home. What better place to do this shit than on Raw. He gets the pop of a live crowd. He can get his final main event title shot against Batista, possibly in a steel cage. Mick Foley could show up unannounced one night to set up a return engagement between the two. We can finally get that Undetaker - Shawn Micheals rematch we’ve all been waiting for. And he’ll get to do it all on the flagship show, Raw. Plus, with Kurt Angle being another part-timer, Smackdown really doesn’t need the both of them. I say, let the old man go out in a blaze of glory. Let us get the spectacle on the show that’s always been about spectacle, the flagship, starship Enterprise, RAW.
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